i'm having those negative feelings in me.
Guily,Irritated,Sad,Dissapointed,angry,lonely.
uhuh.
I have those feelings in me now.
and of course,there's a reason why i'm feeling all this.
Sigh.
as i'm typing all this,
my tears are flowing down to my cheecks.
i cant help it,then to just cry.
the only thang i know is to cry.
I just aint strong anymore.
everytime there's shouting in this house,
my stomach will start back with those cramps.
everytime i hold back my tears,
my cramps will be double than the usual pain.
it really hurts alot.
But,i'm feeling more hurt deep down in my heart.
i cant stand those shoutings,cryings &the crazyness in this house.
i aint this before.
i aint a person who will throw tentrums easily.
i aint a person who will cry easily every day and nights.
i aint a person who aint strong.
All this changed,since this house contained this two small kids.
which will make me feel fucking upset.
which will make me cry easily.
and,i cant control my temper nowdays.
you see how painful it is for me to go through every single day of my life liddis?
every single day.
Not once a week,or twice a week.
Everyday.
I just hope all this will end some day.
i hate the new me.
i need the old me back.
cause,i know people aint happy to see me turning to the new me.
cause,the old me isnt like this.
i cant help it people,Please
i'm sorry if i'm acting differently ..
i myself,doesnt wanna turn out to be this way.
I'm really sorry,

*Sigh.
i feel like dying ~
Ya Allah,
berikanlah hambamu ini kekuatan,
utk hadapi semua cabaran hidupku ini.
Amin.